Healthy Mind

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal

The four agreements

Title: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills

Genre: Self-help and Personal growth

Pages: 140

Published: 1997

The four agreements book is a self-help guide to attain personal freedom. We all have some self-limiting beliefs that make our lives challenging and stop us from reaching our full potential. A child believes that they can achieve anything they want in their lives, and then, this grown-up adult starts filtering out everything as possible and impossible. Filters increase with our age, and we often end up adding too many things to “the impossible list. ” The book took inspiration from the spiritual ideas of the ancient Toltec people. 

What we do in our lives is driven by the set of agreements we have made with ourselves, others, god, or with life. We have the potential to change our life and fulfill our dreams, but the agreements imposed by society or the ones driven by fear are the killer of personal joy and freedom. 

These agreements that are often fear-based make our life miserable by dwindling self-worth and causing unnecessary suffering. These agreements play an important role in deciding what is possible and what’s not. 

So, the author proposes four agreements that an individual can make with oneself. These four agreements can improve your life regardless of external circumstances.

The Four Agreements: 

Agreement 1: Be Impeccable With Your Word: 

The author believes it to be the most difficult to follow. Speak with integrity, and don’t use words against yourself or someone else. Use your words wisely and use them in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement 2: Don’t Take Anything Personally

The author talks about our experiences with different people and how what they say impacts our lives. An individual must not lose their self-worth and identity by relying on the opinions of others. Each one of us has different perspectives on life and circumstances. So, what others say or do is a reflection of their identity. Stop taking things personally, and you’ll notice an improvement in your life. 

Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions

Making assumptions is probably one of the most common characteristics of a human being. Here the author says that the assumptions cause unnecessary suffering. We end up imagining so many things that result in conflicts, misunderstandings, and stress. Communicating and asking questions can protect our relationships and bring peace. Have the courage to ask questions and get rid of unnecessary drama, sadness, and misunderstandings. 

Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best

Self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret can upset our mental health. We might function at our 100 % on a few days and 70, 40, or 20 % on the other. So, avoid self-judgment, always give your best, and your best can change according to your circumstances. Healthy or sick, always give your best(without being harsh on yourself) and love yourself. This agreement is also a part of self-love, understanding yourself and your needs. 

Takeaway: 

You can finish this book on a weekend. The four agreements can bring significant changes in your life. You may find it challenging in the first few days to implement it. So, paste them somewhere as a note. Practice daily, and you’ll see how your relationships improve with yourself and others. Also, check out our post on Mental diet and how simple changes can help you live a healthy happy life.

the four agreements

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15 Comments

  • Reply
    Sandy N Vyjay
    March 27, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    This sounds like a really nice and practical self-help book. The four agreements discussed here are indeed the cornerstones of a good and successful life.

    • Reply
      Anjali Tripathi
      March 27, 2022 at 8:52 pm

      This appears to be an exciting book. That was something I felt we needed to learn. We can be sensitive with people at times, and we must remember not to take it personally. It’s more of a reflection of them than of us.

  • Reply
    Samata
    March 27, 2022 at 10:42 pm

    After reading the review what I can say is that you know how to bring the niche out from a book and present it for others to know what actually the book offers. AMAZING REVIEW

  • Reply
    Jeannine
    March 28, 2022 at 6:31 pm

    Those are incredible agreements to live by. I’m so loving this book and grateful for you sharing it! Your review is amazing which makes me more excited having my hands on this book soon.

  • Reply
    Cindy Dsilva
    March 28, 2022 at 7:15 pm

    Oh wow i follow these 4 agreements with all the enthu. Especially not making assumptions. And not taking anything personally. Even when people make fun of me, i have no reaction at all. I just smile.

  • Reply
    Shalini
    March 28, 2022 at 10:54 pm

    I am not a fan of nonfiction book but your review makes me want to pick up this book. These 4 agreements are easy to live by.

  • Reply
    The Champa Tree
    March 29, 2022 at 1:03 pm

    Simply in love with your awesome book reviews. This one sounds like a good read. Will definitely give it a try.

  • Reply
    Surbhi Prapanna
    September 26, 2022 at 3:10 am

    What a co-incidence. yesterday, I was making a list of books that I want to read soon. and this one was first among them. your review has made me confirmed that I had made a good choice. indeed, a great book for learning how to deal with different reactions from people which may seem unpleasant too.

  • Reply
    Kriti
    September 27, 2022 at 12:26 am

    This looks like an interesting read I will definitely add this to my list of books
    Your review is detailed and interesting
    Thank you for sharing this

  • Reply
    Ranjeeta Nath Ghai
    September 27, 2022 at 1:45 am

    This is great. Glad to know that I and the author think alike. I live by the last part… Hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. In between, whatever happens will always be good.

  • Reply
    Humaira
    September 27, 2022 at 10:39 am

    I have two words… LIFE CHANGING!! I love how in the book the four agreements are generalized in order to use these agreements in your personal everyday life and how the author gives a bunch of examples of also how we can use these four agreements in our everyday life to relate to.

  • Reply
    Meenakshi Kaur
    September 27, 2022 at 10:15 pm

    I’m definitely adding this book to my reading list! Your review is so well-written and interesting, it’s got me even more excited to get my hands on it. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  • Reply
    Amy
    September 27, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    Damn! This is seriously needed for a nerd like me who works in corporate and deal with lot of stress everyday. The best thing I could learn today was.. don’t take anything personally… will surely read this

  • Reply
    Snigdha
    September 28, 2022 at 12:23 am

    The book seems very interesting. Your review makes it more beautiful. I will get this to read.

  • Reply
    Tina Basu
    September 28, 2022 at 9:16 am

    This sounds like a good read. It’s something I felt we all need to learn. people are sensitive mostly but taking everything personally creates a bigger problem.

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